Tribute

Being a Morgan concept, Cute Canadian Geek original design, and Aleksandar Nedich execution, I’ve immortalized the greyhound love of my life:

Your Greyhound Fact of the Day: The numbers you see are the numbers tattooed inside Kiba’s ears. During her racing days, they were used to identify her and make sure that the right dog was running the right race. 24748 is her litter number, and 14B designates her birth info. The “1″ means she was born in January, the “4″ means she was born in 2004, and the “B” is the designation she got amongst her littermates. You could argue that it means she was the “Beta” puppy in the litter, but I prefer to think that the “B” stands for “Best.”

What’s good for the gander.

A Chilean mayor has worked some legislative magic and will be offering men over 60 free viagra. The old dudes will receive 4 gratis pills each month in order to participate in four “sexual relationships.” The mayor was inspired to move forward with the plan after hearing so many men complain about not getting enough sex. He argues that this important step is a quality of life issue.

QUALITY. OF. LIFE!

HA!

I could be supportive of this move in recognizing how one’s sexual health contributes to one’s overall health, but all I can manage is a lot of rage at this move. This is coming from a country with an appalling record when it comes to women’s reproductive health. This is a country that prohibits abortion under any circumstance, even when the mother’s life is in danger. It’s hardly a surprise that in the poorest regions where contraception is not readily available we see the highest rates of unplanned pregnancies and abortions. But the laws in Chile and other Latin America countries threaten the lives of women - women with ectopic pregnancies and other life-threatening complications are kept under guard in hospitals! In Chile we have thousands of women with few or no reproductive rights at all, but here comes Mayor Navarrete to the rescue to make sure that old men are getting their monthly allotment of hard-ons.

To me this reeks of patriarchal entitlement; as though male rights to a hard cock trump every other social necessity. I don’t feel the need to bust out my inner Valerie Solanas very often, but just this once:

Chile! Listen up! I am cursing the men of your country with perpetually flaccid cocks until you take care of your women! No one gets a hard-on until you guarantee basic reproductive rights and access to adequate reproductive health services for every woman. Act now or suffer Limp Dick Syndrome FOREVER!

Thank you, that is all.

ED treatment co-opted for weight loss. That’s just gross.

I had a recent e-mail from a person looking for information about my experience in a recovery program for binge-eating disorder and compulsive overeating because she was having trouble finding something specifically aimed at helping people in her situation. Then she asked me about my thoughts on the Mandometer. Manda-what?

Mandometer.

I went over to the site to take a look at things and found an organization based out of Sweden claiming to present a new and effective treatment for eating disorders. (I think it’s worth pointing out that even though they claim to be a facility that addresses anorexia, bulimia, and ED-NOS, the content of the site exclusively deals with anorexic and bulimic disorders.) The treatment is primarily based around the Mandometer device, a scale attached to a computer that provides biofeedback during meals. Users put a plate on the scale and then begin adding food until they reach an agreed upon amount. Then as the user eats, it receives feedback prompting the user to check their hunger/satiety levels and the pace of their eating. The key is to normalize a person’s eating and, I agree, that is a HUGE component of ED recovery. I know because normalized eating is where I dug my heels in the deepest during treatment. (When I first started treatment it felt like I was eating all the fucking time. It drove my ED absolutely bonkers.)

However, the issue I have with the Mandometer approach is their assertion that normalized eating behaviors are all you need for recovery; that an ED just resolves itself once normal eating patterns are resumed. Furthermore, they argue that traditional avenues of ED treatment are built on the faulty assumption that disordered eating is a symptom of mental illness.

Patients don’t suffer from eating disorders because they have a mental illness. Rather, patients sometimes exhibit mental illness symptoms because they suffer from an eating disorder. The good news is that when anorexics and bulimics begin eating appropriately, their mental symptoms disappear on their own.

I know for myself - and from the stories I’ve heard from others working on recovery - that our ED didn’t just show up and THEN the Crazy happened. I had Crazy going on long beforehand and the ED showed up later to help me navigate it. And seriously, I can manage 3 meals and 2 snacks a day, so why the fuck are my mental symptoms sticking around? That’s the Crazy right there. Normalizing my eating just takes the ED out of the driver’s seat so that I can work on the Crazy and prevent the ED from taking back control. A machine that asks me, “Are you still hungry?” or “Take your time between each bite,” can only help me with one part; it can’t help me figure out why I’m so angrily attacking the french fries on my plate.

Other issues: the site claims to be supported by peer-reviewed published research, but the only articles listed are co-authored by the founders of the clinic; there are no independent reviews of the mandometer treatment process listed. They also boast a 75% recovery rate, with 90% of those folks never suffering relapse over a 5-year period. The number of patients on which they base that amazing statistic? 300. They have treated a total of 300 people. Ever. I’m not sure how much stock I can put in a sample so small. Will the recovery rate still be 75% when they’ve treated 3000 people?

Honestly, reading the site, the rhetoric reminded me of the plethora of diet scam websites that make broad statements promising amazing results, and how their method is proven to work. So I really shouldn’t have been surprised that there are projects in the works to use the Mandometer as a weight loss tool. According to the article, the Childhood Obesity Clinic at the Bristol Royal Hospital for Children ran a study with 120 volunteers using the Mandometer as a component for monitoring food consumption. I’m not even going to get started on the witchhunt that has come from the Pursuit to Destroy Childhood Obesity!, but I’m deeply icked out about a strategy for helping the eating disordered to normalize their eating being used essentially as a tool of shaming that sits on the table with a kid and reminds them that they need to weigh their food and take more time between bites because they aren’t acceptable as they are.

Gross.

FatGrrl Reviews - MarioParty 8 for Wii

What’s the deal? Mario Party 8 for Wii is the latest series of board-game style mayhem from Mario and his band of merry men.  It’s a party-style game for up to 4 players.  It also has “team” play, where you can team up in groups of two to play against two other live players or the computer.

What’s good about it? It’s fun to play with another person, because much smack-talking can be had, as in “Suck it!  I am the best can shaker in the universe!  KISS IT!!  BWAH HA HA!!!”.  Minigames take good advantage of the Wii’s motion-sensitive controller, so you’re shaking (in a way that looks extremely dirty, so don’t expect to play with other adults without comment) and drawing circles and generally waving your Wii controller all over the place.

What sucks? The one-player game is LAME, LAME, LAAAAAAAME.  I kept trying to battle my way through it, but I just couldn’t get into it the way I could when playing with another person (that’s what she said!  Zing!  I’m here all week, people.  Try the veal.) it just doesn’t have the same appeal.  Also, you have to have a controller for each human player (there are some Wii games where you can pass tone controller around, not in MP8, though) and those controllers can be a little pricey (damn you, Nintendo!!)

Rent or Buy? If you have roommates or a significant other that you can play with, I’d say buy it…if it’d just be people visiting to play, I’d say rent, because you’re really not going to want to play by yourself (Okay, I could make yet another sex joke here, but I’ll refrain.)

Final Rating? 6 out of 10 possible boos for poor single player replay value.

~Ellie

Fat Friday - Interview with Beth Ditto

Beth Ditto gave an interview on her recent popularity to The A.V. Club.   Be prepared for some douchebaggery in the comments, though.

An excerpt:

“AVC: Obviously the band has a very queer-friendly philosophy, but do you worry at all about being pigeonholed as exclusively a queer act, especially after signing to Music With A Twist?

I don’t really care. I could give a shit. I think if I were someone who takes themselves completely seriously as an artist I would, but I don’t take myself that seriously, I don’t think Gossip takes itself that seriously. It’s also just such a part of who we are as a band. If you want to look at it like that, all music is pretty fucking gay. [Laughs.] I mean especially dance music or punk music, it’s all so gay. So I don’t feel pigeonholed, I feel like we’re right at home…”

Rock on, Beth Ditto, Rock on!

~Ellie

I love you. Now please leave me alone so I can eat.

Where’s my sense? I’m having a hard time, the eating disorder is on full-volume, and what do I do? I slink away to my little hole - more often than not well-stocked with my favorite comfort foods - and flip the world the bird. It bugs me because I would think about this place everyday and wonder if I would feel better if I wrote a post. Evidence suggests that YES! I would feel better, but for whatever reason, it doesn’t get the words a rollin’.

Sigh.

Here’s the truth.

I look forward to when The Canadian goes to work (YES! he got the tattoo apprenticeship!) because I look forward to the time alone when I can eat. By myself. Without worrying that I’m being watched or judged, even through my rational head knows I’m not being watched or judged. My favorite ice cream just tastes ice-creamier when I’m enjoying it by myself. And when I tell him that I feel this way, or tell him about all the “bad” eating I did, he doesn’t shame me, or scold me, or tell me what a huge disappointment I am. He gives me a hug instead.

When he does that I feel so alone, there’s nothing left I can do but burst in to tears.

Fat Friday - The Smackdown

The only smackdown I’m interested in today is a Sofa Smackdown, otherwise known as a nap.

In the news.

France’s lower Parliament House has unanimously passed a bill that makes the promotion of extreme thinness punishable in court with fines and jail time. My favorite line in the article? The response from French couture aficionados who “are opposed to the idea of legal boundaries on beauty standards.” Ha!

Cultural boundaries not withstanding, right?

And….

The first ever ever size 16 girl reaches the Miss England finals! And no wonder….she’s devastatingly cute and seems very smart. I love it! Many thanks to Kevin and PurpliciousDiva for the links!

FatGrrl Reviews: Maybelline Mineral Power

Dear Makeup Powers That Be: Please send me free stuff and I’ll yap all about it. I’m all about free shit. Thank you.

What’s the Point? - Maybelline Mineral Power Foundation is the Maybelline *cough* cheaper *cough* version of Bare Escentuals loose powder foundation. It’s supposed to be non-clogging and cover well. We’ll just see, Maybelline. I have ruddy skin and pores you could put a fruit basket in, so we’ll just see. You have your work cut out for you.

What did I buy? - Since Ghostly isn’t a color they offer, I got the Classic Ivory/Light 2.

How did it work? - Surprisingly well. They give you a little brush that you’re supposed to load with powder, tap off, then rub all over your face in circular motions. I think I used more powder than I was supposed to, because I had to shake more powder into the well at least three times, but I like full coverage (or rather, I like a foundation that hides the hell out of my flaws. No dewy glowing skin for me. I want a flawless porcelain mask, yo. And before you accuse me of Tammy Faye-ing, I can do some fucking makeup, y’all. I can make nineteen pounds of foundation and eyeliner look good.). Even with my oily skin I didn’t get shiny as fast as I do with traditional powder foundation.

What sucks? - It takes a surprisingly long time to put on. Sure, I could have swiped it a few times on my skin, but it wouldn’t have covered as well as I like. For girls with really smooth, clear skin, it’ll take less time, but like I said, I’m ruddy. Also, the powder gets all over your hands and it doesn’t just brush off, it sort of settles into your fingerprints, which I assume is what it does to the skin on your face to make it look good. Also, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to wash off. It’s like it loved my face and never wanted to leave it ever again.

What’s great? - It really does make your skin look nice. It’s also a good base for other makeup, like eyeliner and shadow. I haven’t used it long enough to find out if it makes you break out less than traditional powder foundation.

Final Rating? - 7 out of 10 possible Crocheted Apple Sweaters.

~Ellie

A new FatGrrl Feature!

I’ve been thinking about it, and I think it’s time to have a semi-regular (or at least as often as I can post it) review category on FatGrrl.com. I’ll be reviewing everything from books, to video games, to everyday products. It’ll give me a venue to make an ass of myself trying to be funny, and you’ll get to hear about things you might not have seen yet.

So let’s get started with The First! Ever! FatGrrl! Review! Whee!

It’s My Sims for Wii.

What’s the point? - You use your wii controller to build objects for new residents of your Sims town in order to lure more people to the town to build it back up. You use “essences” to paint your objects so that they match the personality of the people you’re building the items for…for example, Goths use ghosts and eyeballs and whatnot.

Who’s it good for? - It’s a little young for jaded gamers who like shooters or more adult-oriented games. Actually, I found that it would be a really good learning tool for kids, so that they can learn spatial relationships and what things go where. I think that it’s a pretty young game. It’s also kind of girly, so it’s definitely not for the “blow shit up, then use a severed arm to beat someone to death while a zombie chews on your ass” crowd.

What’s awesome about it? - It’s so stinking cute visually that I frequently had to brush sugar and glitter off of the TV. Anyone who likes Japanese cute (like Hello Kitty and Sanrio) will really like this. Also, Sims games are famous for little humor thrown in. For example, the Goths love it when you’re mean to them and little happy faces burst out of them.

What sucks? - All of the f’ing grinding. You have to go get those damn essences to build what the characters ask for by digging, fishing, or growing trees, and it’s massively time-consuming. Sometimes you just want to play the game, but you can’t because you have to go get the damn essences, and you’ll forget where you found them the first time, so you’ll end up doing a lot of pointless wandering around looking for them. Grrr.

Buy or Rent? - If you have youngish kids (I’d say 7+), buy. Otherwise, rent for a few days of Teh Kyoot.

Final Score - 5 out of 10 possible Hello Kitties.

~Ellie

PS: If you have something you’d like for me to review, please let me know! If you think this blows, hush and let me keep my delusions.