Is it just me?

Is it just me, or are Hostess Cupcakes just about the best damn things in the whole world??

Sew-Sew-A-Go-Go

For any of y’all that have picked up the needle and thread, you’ve likely noticed that there is often a startling difference between the sizing you see in stores and the sizing listed on sewing patterns. I once picked up a pattern that I saw had sizing up through 28W, and thought, “Hell yeah, this’ll fit me.” No, no it didn’t. Not even close. I actually really enjoy this bizarre disconnect between store sizing and pattern sizing because it reminds me that the numbers on the package are just that: numbers. What I’m looking for is the garment that FITS ME. Not the garment that gives me bragging rights to some supposedly acceptable size number. (So the next time you hear some little thing going on and on about being a size 8, just remember that in McCall’s World she’s probably a 14 - which is considered PLUS SIZE, dontcha know!)

Anyway, I was rummaging about the local fabric stores and I stumbled across the Connie Crawford line of Butterick Patterns. Take heed, plus-size sewers! This is a great line of patterns that offers many cute looks in sizing through women’s 6x, which comes out to about a 68″ bust, 58″ waist, and 76″ hip. Some of them also look easy enough to alter if you’re looking for something beyond a 6x. (And if you need any more proof that you can sew your heart out without getting caught up in the numbers: I am a 6x on top and a 2x on bottom. What sense does that make? None. So I just let it go. My body is wacky. It is what it is.)

Here is one of my finds - a button down jacket with raglan-style sleeves and mandarin collar. Cute huh? I’m excited to give this one a go.

Weight Bias at Home and in School

Got a heads up in my e-mail on a recent video put together by the Rudd Center for Obesity and Food Policy at Yale University. The video examines the phenomenon of weight bias for youth at school and in the home. It looks at causes, consequences, and resolution strategies. And it totally broke my heart. I was right there with those poor kids telling their stories of teasing and abuse at the hands of their peers, teachers, and family.

One aspect that I definitely want to draw attention to is the use of research and surveys to support the claims of weight bias. So often I will see trolls and haters claiming that fat folks cry and complain because they are too lazy to fix their own problem (read: a fat body), so those fat folks will make unsubstantiated claims of prejudice. But this video features REAL PhD’s citing MULTIPLE REAL studies done on the causes, effects, and pervasiveness of weight bias among children. The statistics will the scare the hell out of you. No lie.

Fat Friday - Fat Shopping!

For fat friday this week, I thought I’d share the amazing new shoes I found at payless.  They come in wide (because I have a fat foot too, obviously.) and are so dead sexy I can hardly stand it.  I saw them when I was browsing the aisles (I actually came in there to get another pair of flip flops to replace the ones my dog ate.  Damn dog.  I saw that it was BOGO time, so I had to look around. ) and I knew they must be mine.  And they’re less than 20 bucks.  It doesn’t get better than that.

Now, keep in mind that, because we are larger girls, we are going to need support in the ball of the foot (walmart sells these really nice cushion things you can stick in there for less than two bucks) because these shoes have the potential to hurt like a motherfucker because you’re pretty much walking around on your tiptoes.  They range up to size 12, so even my tall sisters can tower around in them.  Also, they feel very secure when I walk (None of the flimsiness that I’ve felt in other heels, so I’m not afraid they’re going to break.  I don’t know if they have any kind of support in the arch to prevent breaking, they just feel sturdy.)  These are not tromping-about-town shoes.  These are get in the car-walk to dinner-sit and eat-walk back to the car- go home and get laid while wearing them kind of shoes.

-Doing my part to sexify the fatgrrls,

~Ellie

On Repeat

Yesterday’s Company by Minneapolis group, LookBook. Check ‘em out.

 

Haircuts a la Maison

These days we skip the haircuts at the local chop shops to save money, so I give the Canadian his monthly buzz cut at home.

Morgan: “Okay, Buzzy the Sheep, you’re all done. Mind if I snip a few of these stray little hairs on your ears?”

Jeff: “Do it!”

Snipping continues for a few minutes…

Jeff: “Why is it taking so long?”

Morgan: “Sorry, dude. It’s not that there are a lot of hairs. I promise. It’s the scissors. They aren’t cutting properly.”

Jeff: “I think you’re lying. I think you’re clear cutting my ear forest.”

Morgan: “Stop making me laugh! I’ll end up shearing off an earlobe!”

Jeff: “Poor gnomes. What must they be thinking? All the trees are being cut down.”

Morgan: “Ahahahahahah! Stop!”

Mr. Ellie may possibly be psychic.

So it’s almost That Wonderful Time Of The Month, and last night while Mr Ellie was at work, I was fiendishly scouring my house for something of the chocolate persuasion.  I would have mugged someone for a hershey bar, I think.  I was looking through my house for something even vaguely sweet and I was coming up empty.  I had cake mix, but it was 10pm and I wasn’t about to break out my cake-fu for one slice.

Mr Ellie not only comes home with a box of Turtles (my favorite), he remembered to get the kids’ teachers a V-day present!  Because I’m completely lame and my children have eaten my brain, I think that I was more pleased that he remembered the teachers’ present.  Awwwww.

Good job, Mr Ellie.  You’ll get your Steak and BJ day (vaguely NSFW.  Not too bad, but not G-rated) this year. (March 17th.)

~Ellie

The Yuckies

When my good friend, Christina the Self-Righteous Drunk, rolls out of bed and is confronted with a bad-vibe body image that even post-beer morning breath can’t knock down, she calls it The Yuckies.

The Yuckies are when you’re standing in front of the closet and don’t see a single thing to wear. Those colors don’t go together. That stretches too tight across my boobs. My thighs. My belly. I wore that twice already and people are going to think I’m disgusting if I wear it again. But it’s the only thing I feel comfortable in right now. The days when you’re hypersensitve to every lump and bump - real or imagined - on your body. The days when every mirror is your sworn enemy. The days when you know that if you stand in that closet one minute longer, you’re going to burst in to tears.

I had a really bad day with The Yuckies yesterday. I made it out of the closet in what I thought was the only suitable thing to wear, and I STILL felt like the world’s largest and most swollen water balloon. I tried to push it away and focus on balancing the checkbook instead while I had some breakfast. Then the Glob of Peanut Butter fell off my bagel and landed directly on my shirt.

I thought I was going to cry myself to death. I wilted right there at the desk, not able to even think about venturing back in to the closet to find another shirt. It’s so disempowering to be trapped by this eating disorder; to be convinced that I am the ugliest creature walking the planet and the only way to get past it is to finally accept it. Accept how ugly I am.

I don’t want to accept it. I just want to be thin.

It’s been a hard couple of days, folks.

Vessel of Weakness

My house has become a den of sin; a vessel of weakness! No, not me. The TV! For the past six years I have not indulged in cable television. Through my diligent reading of various celebrity gossip website I could name off the casts of Gossip Girl and The Hills, but I’m proud to say that I haven’t watched a single episode. (Honestly, I don’t think there is much that could convince me to watch either of those shows. Heroes? Totally different story…)

But I’m not entirely immune to the draw of the magic glowing picture box, and this past week I took the plunge and had cable installed in the apartment. The Canadian made a loud and (not entirely) convincing fuss about the new addition sucking out what was left of our brains. And then I turned on Turner Classic Movies at which point he immediately drifted onto the sofa and basked in a Humphrey Bogart-laden reverie, eyes just slightly glazed. It’s the same look I get when I’m watching Law & Order.

Bliss…